This week we participated in field based training, where groups of trainees go off together to visit a current volunteer and help them with their daily activities. We all left on Wed., not on public transportation but in vehicles with a PC staff member and a spanish teacher. Incidentally, one group of trainees was pulled over to the side of the road en route to their volunteer's site by four men in masks - they, along with two other vehicles, were robbed of their money by gunpoint. I'm mentioning this not to freak anyone out (Dad) but just to show that anything really can happen at anytime, depending on situational circumstances, and also to say that my three PCT buds are now hands down the official badasses of the group.
It's been a bit of a tumultuous past few weeks. Last week my host community group wateched the movie "voces inocentes" - based on a true story of one family's experiences surviving the civil war here in the 1980's, featuring a single mom and her three kids. We watched it in the morning portion of class, and it really threw me for a loop. I've seen films about disasters and wars in the past, but those have always been in controlled situations - in school, when I can return home to my comfortable life thousands of miles away from where the chaos occurred, where the history is different and I'm worlds apart from what I viewed. This time things were different - the movie was profoundly sad and realistic, moreso because I'm living in the country it was filmed in and the war ended just 14 years ago. Walking down the street back to my house for lunch afterwards, I couldn't help but think as I looked at and greeted people that they either lived through this war or know someone who fought or died in it. That's huge for me - someone who has no concept of war, death and destruction, despite learning about it happening to other, less fortunate people living in different times than myself. The family in the movie were innocent bystanders, yet they watched their friends and families suffer in the crossfire between the guerrillas and the army, their house burn to the ground, their neighbor's children be recruited into the army at 10 years of age, and their country fall to pieces. And that story was based on truth, a truth that ended here only in 1992, and still there are those who align with the left and the right - the divisions in this country are as real now as ever. Just a few weeks ago there was a protest in the capital over the rising gas prices, where two police officers were shot and killed and the frente side took the blame for it. There is death and destruction every day in the USA, but it didn't factor into my life because I only read about it, then returned to my safe lifestyle. I'm not experiencing negative things here, but the dangers and the history of El Salvador hit me like a ton of bricks because I'm not in my comfort zone, surrounded by loved ones to process the difficult information. I apologize if this is a bit depressing, its just my thought process at the moment.
On the other hand, that same day we had to give our charlas, or talks, to our classes in the school. I was nervous as hell about talking to my class, the same bunch of out of controll 4th graders who jumped all over me the day I went to observe class. My spanish still isn't that great, the noise of recess outside the class was deafening and the kids didn't quite understand the directions of my games. Despite all that, they seemed to have a good time and asked me at the end when I'd be returning to the school again. It was a great high after the fact to have spoken to those kids for 45 minutes - I don't have a public speaking phobia, but I was out of my element and it felt great to push myself and accomplish something substancial as a trainee. The other charlas went smoothly as well, so by the end of the day we were all ridiculously happy. Talk about a roller coaster of emotions- all in one day I went from as low as it gets to feeling confident and proud. They teach us during training that these roller coaster, whirlwind emotions are normal, potentially on a daily basis, for PCV's worldwide. I'm not sure how I'll deal with it - the stress of it is already getting to me - but I'm confident that if others have done it before me and are currently going through it, there's hope yet for me.
Field-based training was a great experience this past weekend. I traveled to Jocoro, Morazon in the eastern part of the country to visit and work with a married couple, Kris and Haunnah. We gave more charlas - one to a class of 9th grade girls about to plan for their futures and the other to a group of community members regarding how to best research and plan out projects for their towns. Again, the thought of giving charlas was terrifying, but I'm glad to have given them, particularly to the class of girls. After the talk a few of them approached us- one girl wanted to know more about the future we had chosen, to volunteer for a few years in another country, because she is interested in doing something similar after high school. We were thrilled to talk to her about the opportunities available to her, even more thrilled to know that she sees a future for herself that involves more than just starting a family right away or traveling to the USA. Haunnah has started a great initiative at this school- she's taught 2nd year girls to give talks to their peers regarding self esteem, leadership, civic education, etc., in an attempt to empower the girls and teach them of their options for the future. I'm not a fan of charlas, but if I can implement something sustainable like that at my site, I figure its "vale la pena" or worth the pain.
We were able to help the PCVs organize a BINGO night, which seemed to go over really well. It was a bit embarassing sitting in a car driving around town and announcing over a loudspeaker that were were throwing a BINGO night beforehand, but fun none the less. I stayed with a baptist family for the training and there was a "culta" or service Thursday night in their house. Culta was a little bit like what I imagine an AA meeting to be like - because it was my first time there, I had to stand up, say my name and share three things about myself that I wanted to ask forgiveness for, and the leader of the group then absolved me of my sins. I appreciate all the blessings I can get, so I suppose there's no harm in it really. Anyway the people were friendly and I was glad to have experienced something different from the Catholic services I've been attending with my host mom, Antonia. Religion is such an important aspect of this country - Antonia's kitchen is wallpapered with pictures of Jesus and the pope, and when I first commented on it she immediately asked me if I'm Catholic and asked me to join her for 6am Sunday mass. I enjoy going to church here - the celebration really is beautiful in Spanish. My only concern is that now that I've started going to church, there's no getting out of it. The weekend I was sick I missed mass, only to find out from Antonia that she had spoken to God for me and explained to him why I wasn't there that day. It's really sweet that she's lookin out for me and praying for me. I'd like it to be my choice when I go to church and I figure I can communicate with God for myself, but she's just being culturally appropriate and I appreciate her thoughtfulness.
Sorry that this turned out to be such a long entry - if you're still reading at this point I appreciate it! Thanks to everyone who has kept in such good tough - for the pictures from my family and the card from Nicole especially. There's one more month of tranining before I'm on my own and I really start begging everyone for letters, so please plan accordingly.I'm missing friends and family very much and continue to think of you. Hasta luego!
It's been a bit of a tumultuous past few weeks. Last week my host community group wateched the movie "voces inocentes" - based on a true story of one family's experiences surviving the civil war here in the 1980's, featuring a single mom and her three kids. We watched it in the morning portion of class, and it really threw me for a loop. I've seen films about disasters and wars in the past, but those have always been in controlled situations - in school, when I can return home to my comfortable life thousands of miles away from where the chaos occurred, where the history is different and I'm worlds apart from what I viewed. This time things were different - the movie was profoundly sad and realistic, moreso because I'm living in the country it was filmed in and the war ended just 14 years ago. Walking down the street back to my house for lunch afterwards, I couldn't help but think as I looked at and greeted people that they either lived through this war or know someone who fought or died in it. That's huge for me - someone who has no concept of war, death and destruction, despite learning about it happening to other, less fortunate people living in different times than myself. The family in the movie were innocent bystanders, yet they watched their friends and families suffer in the crossfire between the guerrillas and the army, their house burn to the ground, their neighbor's children be recruited into the army at 10 years of age, and their country fall to pieces. And that story was based on truth, a truth that ended here only in 1992, and still there are those who align with the left and the right - the divisions in this country are as real now as ever. Just a few weeks ago there was a protest in the capital over the rising gas prices, where two police officers were shot and killed and the frente side took the blame for it. There is death and destruction every day in the USA, but it didn't factor into my life because I only read about it, then returned to my safe lifestyle. I'm not experiencing negative things here, but the dangers and the history of El Salvador hit me like a ton of bricks because I'm not in my comfort zone, surrounded by loved ones to process the difficult information. I apologize if this is a bit depressing, its just my thought process at the moment.
On the other hand, that same day we had to give our charlas, or talks, to our classes in the school. I was nervous as hell about talking to my class, the same bunch of out of controll 4th graders who jumped all over me the day I went to observe class. My spanish still isn't that great, the noise of recess outside the class was deafening and the kids didn't quite understand the directions of my games. Despite all that, they seemed to have a good time and asked me at the end when I'd be returning to the school again. It was a great high after the fact to have spoken to those kids for 45 minutes - I don't have a public speaking phobia, but I was out of my element and it felt great to push myself and accomplish something substancial as a trainee. The other charlas went smoothly as well, so by the end of the day we were all ridiculously happy. Talk about a roller coaster of emotions- all in one day I went from as low as it gets to feeling confident and proud. They teach us during training that these roller coaster, whirlwind emotions are normal, potentially on a daily basis, for PCV's worldwide. I'm not sure how I'll deal with it - the stress of it is already getting to me - but I'm confident that if others have done it before me and are currently going through it, there's hope yet for me.
Field-based training was a great experience this past weekend. I traveled to Jocoro, Morazon in the eastern part of the country to visit and work with a married couple, Kris and Haunnah. We gave more charlas - one to a class of 9th grade girls about to plan for their futures and the other to a group of community members regarding how to best research and plan out projects for their towns. Again, the thought of giving charlas was terrifying, but I'm glad to have given them, particularly to the class of girls. After the talk a few of them approached us- one girl wanted to know more about the future we had chosen, to volunteer for a few years in another country, because she is interested in doing something similar after high school. We were thrilled to talk to her about the opportunities available to her, even more thrilled to know that she sees a future for herself that involves more than just starting a family right away or traveling to the USA. Haunnah has started a great initiative at this school- she's taught 2nd year girls to give talks to their peers regarding self esteem, leadership, civic education, etc., in an attempt to empower the girls and teach them of their options for the future. I'm not a fan of charlas, but if I can implement something sustainable like that at my site, I figure its "vale la pena" or worth the pain.
We were able to help the PCVs organize a BINGO night, which seemed to go over really well. It was a bit embarassing sitting in a car driving around town and announcing over a loudspeaker that were were throwing a BINGO night beforehand, but fun none the less. I stayed with a baptist family for the training and there was a "culta" or service Thursday night in their house. Culta was a little bit like what I imagine an AA meeting to be like - because it was my first time there, I had to stand up, say my name and share three things about myself that I wanted to ask forgiveness for, and the leader of the group then absolved me of my sins. I appreciate all the blessings I can get, so I suppose there's no harm in it really. Anyway the people were friendly and I was glad to have experienced something different from the Catholic services I've been attending with my host mom, Antonia. Religion is such an important aspect of this country - Antonia's kitchen is wallpapered with pictures of Jesus and the pope, and when I first commented on it she immediately asked me if I'm Catholic and asked me to join her for 6am Sunday mass. I enjoy going to church here - the celebration really is beautiful in Spanish. My only concern is that now that I've started going to church, there's no getting out of it. The weekend I was sick I missed mass, only to find out from Antonia that she had spoken to God for me and explained to him why I wasn't there that day. It's really sweet that she's lookin out for me and praying for me. I'd like it to be my choice when I go to church and I figure I can communicate with God for myself, but she's just being culturally appropriate and I appreciate her thoughtfulness.
Sorry that this turned out to be such a long entry - if you're still reading at this point I appreciate it! Thanks to everyone who has kept in such good tough - for the pictures from my family and the card from Nicole especially. There's one more month of tranining before I'm on my own and I really start begging everyone for letters, so please plan accordingly.I'm missing friends and family very much and continue to think of you. Hasta luego!
posted by Erin @ 3:48 PM
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